Here's What You Should Do:
Find a way to batter and fry bacon.
Here's one idea:
Boil an egg, slice it in half from top to bottom.
Wrap it vertically with bacon.
Batter it in something breakfasty, akin to pancakes, or with some cinnamon in it.
Then, eat it and wonder how we've lived without it for so long.
I doubt it would be easy to make it all hold together, but I'm certain it would be worth the work.